While at the post office today, I saw a poster that promised me a free fag if I bought two "Amerifist" phone cards.
"What would I do with a fag?" I mused , and then shuddered at the thought of what Amerifist might entail.
Then I realized that In the dim light I had read the poster wrong.
It actually said you could get a free FLAG with the purchase of two AMERIFIRST phone cards.
And then I shuddered at the thought of what Amerifirst might entail.
Seriously though, why was the Postal Service shilling for it's old arch- rival the phone?
And the flag was the kind that required 2 Servicemen in full dressage to fold it into a triangle at dusk.
Is there any other nation on earth so cavelier with their official standard that they would send it to the people if they bought
2 cases of vanilla Coke? let me know.
There are A frame sandwichboard signs all over downtown Chicago that say "Caution, Falling Ice".
This is an attempt to cover the asses of building owners who might get sued if an icicle impales a tot or pensioner .
This is what Chicagoans call "Being Proactive" , or worse, "Conscientious " .
I feel that these warnings have a deeper meaning, if only I could figure out what.
Do they mean that we should console the ice itself?
Should we tell the ice, as it falls ,that what it's doing is morally wrong ?
The signs should say something like:" If you can read this, you should worry about falling Ice "
If you read a sign that tells you to worry about falling ice, you should get as far away from that sign as possible.
Another tac they could take would be to really scare you and the signs could say "Boogeda Boogeda , Falling Ice"
or, people dressed like zombies could jump out and yell "Falling Ice!"
Any of these suggestions is better than the system they have now, because they neglect to tell you how to take precations against falling ice.
Some Ice is falling on you.
What do you do?