Give,Get,Take, And Have

Yeah, Ex- As Of A Half Hour Ago, Praise Jesus (Sproing!)

The Passion For Christ Movement has a whole bunch of tshirts proclaiming that the wearer is an ex -practitioner of various sins, but this is the one I want the most.
What? I just need it ok? what's with the third degree?
This is between me and my God. Oh, and could it be an extra large please?

HONEY,WHY ARE YOU CHECKING YOUR WATCH?

"You are a wish to squirt pleasantly"-Jack Kerouac
This guy is completely undeserving of Male Multiple Orgasms but that's what he claims to be an expert on.
It probably involves a lot of "training" and most of the guys I know don't have the patience for that sort of thing.
Or at least that was the buzz at the last Premature Ejaculators Anonymous (Hi Rick Bruner!) meeting I went to.

THE AGE OF NAKED PROTEST IS UPON US

DOWN WITH CLOTHES! DOWN WITH CLOTHES! DOWN WITH CLOTHES! THE PEOPLE UNSWADDLED WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED! OR, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN TUMESCENT
Naked Protesters stick it , uh, to the um, Man
NAKED AND PAINTED AUSSIES ON BIKES
The Sydney Body Art Ride Billed as "The Human Rainbow" this one's for a good cause.

FROM THE "TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT A ZEBRA" DEPT.

Once seen, this geek and his tormented crusade against touching yourself will not leave your memory.

CROTCH RUGS R US

I had origionally planned to start this post using the phrase "seemingly innocent mass of hair" when I realized that there can never be anything innocent about a mass of hair. What that thing at the left is , is a merkin known as the "Standard" handcrafted by The American Merkin Company which has apparently been handcrafting merkins for 150 years. Talk about indentured servitude. For those of you still peeking at this through your shame filled fingers, a merkin is a pubic hair toupee. 29.99 and 7.50 shipping and handling and you too can have one of your very own.

MY NAME IS TED AND I'VE HAD A BONER FOR MOST OF FISCAL 2007

I scanned Viagraholics Anonymous for signs of satire but found none.
Perhaps the satire I sought was so friggin poe- faced that I knew it not , stumbling onward, like a blind folded two year old wearing his father's shoes to discover that most men are idiots.
They have test(icle)imonials from guys who claim not to need it but make up some jive ass story about erectile disfunction just so they can get that sweet ride that is a viagra high.
But the pills run out and they need more.
How can anyone get a priapism jones?
It boggles the mind as well as the pants.
Nothing ruins your party head like all the blood in it rushing elsewhere.
SEE ALSO:
Small Penis ,The Male Inadequacy Support Group

UH, THANKS FOR THE FLUIDS- LOVE, CHRIST

Fluids For Christ Is a Christian Blood/Spermbank/Organ Donar Program that warns against recieving non Christian fluids.
The FAQ page consists of emails that essentially ask: "Dude, Are you Completely Fucked in the head?"
The guy is researching methods of preventing contamination of mass-produced food supplies by UnChristian vectors and methods of raising Christian livestock (cattle, pork, poultry) for human consumption.
Raising Christian Livestock ????!!!??? I liked it better when It was called Glat Kosher. One to watch, and shudder at.