Give,Get,Take, And Have

Walken in Space

FUCK YOU, SHARK, LOVE, MR. T

Blogging from Monster Island

click here to turn this blog into Tokyo

If my dog had a face like Christ's I'd shave his... oh never mind..or: Jesus is the more than the dog's bollocks

""It's hard to understand the meaning of this appearance, but one thing is for sure, that dog's bum looks incredibly like Jesus." - annonymous punter's comment on seeing a vision of our lord and savior in/on/around this three year old terrier mixes' ass
I mean,why should pancakes and tortillas have all the fun?
As an impartial atheist, I can honestly tell you- that there is an uncanny resemblance to the Lord Of Hosts in the region of this terrier's filthy bunghole.
One finds God in the most unusual of places. If he is indeed everywhere, YWHE is bound to wind up on a puppy botty sooner or later.
Further lashings of humor are heaped on with the polite refusal of those serious minded pilgrims who want to bask in the heavenly glory of this puppy's pereneum.
The closest thing to this I have witnessed is a chicken who had a taint that looked a little like Joseph of Aramathea, but only under stroboscopic conditions.
Oh, and I'm lying. Tah.

Sticky White Substances In Crisis-Part Two;Fluff

"On May 14, 1920, a small article appeared in the Lynn, Massachusetts, Daily Evening Item announcing that two young men, H. Allen Durkee and Fred L. Mower, both graduates of Swampscott High and veterans of the United States Infantry in World War I, had formed a partnership in the manufacture of Marshmallow Fluff. The actual date that they started working together is hard to pin down, because they had been making candies together before they started making Fluff. The company numbered two men in those days, and they started out cooking their confections in the kitchen at night and selling them door to door in the daytime."
What would you have done if two greying, middleaged men showed up at your door selling a sticky white concoction they had made in their kitchen?
All things being equal, and given the 1920's hyper- awareness of murderous hoboes, it's a wonder that anybody bought enough of the marshmallow "Spread " for it to even have the history it now enjoys.
The people of Somerville, Massachusetts. welcomed the viscous snack with open mouths and wallets.
This weekend there was a "What the Fluff?" festival to honor the one thing that makes Somerville exiting.
Weekend America did a story on it.

I'm Bernadette.....

Now in her forties, Bernadette Yao was the Chinese girl on ZOOM who everybody has a crush on. Most parents did not have a crush on her, because the "arm thing" she did at the show's opening was oft attempted on long car trips and elevators by their progeny.

Confucius say...

This shit is anachronisticly racist, even with it being 100 sayings strong.
I'm looking for evidence of the funny but it's difficult with entries like:
13)"Confucius say, man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long"
34) "Confucius say, butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders"
and of course the classic:
"Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew"
Bowdlerized versions of these "Classics" were peppered throughout Charlie Chan Movies which also had the distinction of having the weirdest clues to mysteries ever.
"Hmm.... If the vicar ordered egg salad..........

DECK THE HALLS WITH PSA COMIC BOOKS

Just in time for Holiday Fun, the mighty Ethan Persoff gifts us with a bunch of weird PSA Comics:

Trapped! illustrates (crudely) the acceleration from huffing the muggles to the monkey on your back. It literally happens that fast, according to the comic.

Callow and repressed youth break out the Ben Shermans in Where There's Smoke . . . There's Danger

Legendary Archie Comics artist Dan Decarlo thrills the lushes with A complete set of the 1968-1974 Alcoholics Anonymous comic strips


The CIA seduces the innocent in a 4 color stylee with the 1984 Grenada Comic Book
Dennis the Menace Takes a Poke at Poison
The rapacious scamp does a lot of stupid things in the interest of exposition in this dire warning. Eating poison isn't good. Who Knew?

CHEESE LOVING INVENTOR, DOG, SNUFF IT IN BLAZE

Fire destroys Wallace and Gromit collection [Times, UK]
"Most of the figures and theatrical props used in the Wallace and Gromit films were destroyed this morning in a fire at the warehouse in Bristol where they were stored.

Aardman Animations, the company that makes the films, said that its whole history was wiped out - all the props and sets from the company’s past: Morph the plasticine man, the much-loved Creature Comforts and Wallace and Gromit....."

Nick Park and proteges in happier times

E-Z OBITUARY

TV Dinner Inventor Dies [BBC]
"Gerry Thomas, the US salesman who brought the concept of the TV dinner to the world, has died of cancer aged 83"
I could make some joke about him being cryogenicaly frozen in four separate compartments with a cherry cobbler in the middle, but that would be crass.Thanks for the dinners,dude.