A-E
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Blogsnog
Bridgette describes herself thusly:
"I'm 39, blonde (collar & cuffs). I have plenty of insulation and so many stretch marks that I should have given birth to at least 5 kids!
I was born in Wiltshire in England and tried to grow-up there until I was sweet and sticky sixteen.
Didn't make a very good job of it though, mispent youth, chasing my childhood sweetheart Bob, smoking fags and laughing at other peoples misfortunes, like giggling at a young girl who fainted every time we had sex education at school.
Just as I finished my exams my Ma & Pa decided that we were all going to move to Northamptonshire to live on a narrow boat on the canals, yes all of us, Mum, Dad, me and my two brothers on one boat.
After 18 months of sleeping on a sofa and working in a Butchers, slicing up raw liver and nicking meat for my Mum, I joined the RAF.
What a fab time that turned out to be. 18 years of going all over the world, spending all you tax payers money, getting pissed and discovering what orgasms were all about - Yeeha! I married twice and divorced twice, but I honestly can look back and LAUGH MY TITS OFF! I wouldn't change any of it though, it has all made me what I am today - weird! "
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Boynton
From a post by Boynton herownself cira Friday, October 18, 2002
"Just testing new settings - an old girl shouldn' give away too much y'know. In case you're wondering - Boynton is a minor character in a Shirley Temple film Our Little Girl. She has a vigorous crush on Shirley/Molly's Dad (Joel Mcrea) but in his distracted indifference (and despite her pleas to the contrary) he only ever calls her by her last name. Exasperated, she finally pleads " I do wish you wouldn't call me Boynton. I really have a name y'know. It's xxxxx" He refuses and pushes on with the surname - made slighlty more unflattering given Joel Mcrea's flat drawl. It begins to take on a kind of bouncy percussive quality that he emits/expels at irregular intervals. It can symbolise the depths of indignity the spinster with a crush sometimes has to endure."
Thrift without piety, Piety without thrift. If you live in Melbourne, then you should think like this. If you dont, you should read this blog.
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Breakup Babe
Just when you think you're out she keeps pulling you back in...... Fully deserving of your pity. Not like some people's Blogs I could mention.
F-J
K-Q
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The New York Minute Read this and then check The New York Anti Hipster Forum For the Antidote
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A Mating Call In The Concrete Jungle
DUDES-you can read this blog and sigh whistfully all you want, but this woman has standards.
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Madam Fabulous
Fabulous? Yes-Madam? I hope not.
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My BoyFriend Is A Twat
she winges:
"This blog is mainly rants about my household, which has been described by a friend as a mixture of 'The Osbournes', 'Absolutely Fabulous' and 'My Family'. People who have said this weren't smiling. Let's face it, it's bleeding obvious. The household is made up of myself, Zoe, an oasis of calm, my boyfriend Quarsan, aka the Twat. Let's face it girls, all men are twats, but Quarsan takes the biscuit and here's his reward. Then there is Coralie, a 13 year-old stroppy little cow, her twin sister, Tatiana, who bosses the Twat and I around and winds up their brother Todd, a nine-year old with the attention span of a goldfish."
Positively Feral, and brimming with the kind of insouciance that should be mandatory for 40 year old British mums with 3 children and lumpish BFs. It (the blog) is also seething with a kind of defensive insecurity that I have always been a big fan of. Anyone who leads with a John Cooper Clark Quote and refers to the children's dads girlfriend as "Pretty Horrible Tits" is more than OK In my book. Also, kudos for calling the links section. "Non Twats". Needs more expansion on the word "twat" though. "Twattage?" "Twat Faced?" "Twattelage?" Get all Captain Haddock on our asses, girlfriend.
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A Pillow Book From The Land Of Artichokes
Normally I don't like blogs that are too fucking arty and arch for anyone's good,but this one is fucking arty and arch for the good of everyone. If you don't like it, then you must not know enough about Egon Sheil or Japanese Erotica to get the jokes. You might want to start shutting up ahead of time, to avoid the rush.
R-Z
Focus On: She's A Flight Risk She's also an extremely verbose and entertaining Bullshit Artiste
Focus On: Stumbling Monkey She uses PHPNuke and She's funny and terse. If I didn't know better I'd say I was in love...................
Focus On: Up Yours! Opinions are like assholes-everybody has one. Neither your asshole or your opinion can hold a candle to Dawn Olsen and hers. I'm picking up what you're laying down Dawn, and I'm swirling it around like some find brandy before carefully putting it back down again. Read this blog whilst letting it hit you where the good Lord split you-Read it aloud to the horse you rode in on.
Focus On: Claire Zulkey The Queen of deadline comedy. She's also far to nice a person to be in the buisiness she's in. That makes it an uphill battle for her I suppose, but a fucking hilarious one. Claire's world seems to be populated with people who are only there to present her with idiosynchratic moral dilemmas. "Is that woman Pregnant or just really fat? Either way, offering her my seat on the bus would be taken the wrong way." or "I'm too drunk to explain to the guy with a retarted brother that I wasn't making fun of retards when I said that Dave Matthews looks kinda retarted- I was making fun of celebrities" I'm paraphrasing here, and that's not fair.To Claire.
